Monday, 8 February 2010

I am becoming such a whore.


I love it when two or three stories are published simultaneously. It makes me feel like McSweeto, Indian God of Crap Online Fiction. Other Indian Gods include Bunmama, He of Free Verse Poetry Rejection Emails, and Noanever, God of Automated Nay, We Shan’t Be Publishing You, So Piss Orf Forms.

First up is the story I like the most, a tale of commuter discomfort and bovine train raids,
The 3.45 to Prestwich. People I like, used to like, and pretended to like have been published at Bartleby Snopes (which almost sounds like a proper publisher’s name), so this makes me feel included in the gangbang.

Next is the first in a series of stories about the humiliation, degradation, depression, suicidal woe, pain, discomfort, awkwardness, and erm... magic in losing one’s virginity. This first one is flecked with that ludicrous humour I am partial to. You say: “Oh, MJ, it is most amusing when thee makes with the funnies!”

Hee hee. Yes. Chuckle thee raw at
Clean Sheets with The Virginity Chronicles [1].

Next up is the penultimate installment in the neverending series of masturbatory sagas featuring characters intent on tearing asunder my skull. This episode features lipless suitors, a biscuit-challenged cabbie, radical atheist Mikhail Bakunin, and some form of ending.
A Modern Narrative [5] is at Piker Press.

Lastly, a story I wrote when I was barely out of nappies is forthcoming in
Cantaraville 9. I don’t know who reads this publication outside of a band of Californian hipsters, but I hope they find my weird endeavor Day of the Clown Conspirators food for their over-caffeinated brains. The cost for this PDF is… some pounds. Not sure yet.

Thus ends the self-love portion of my week. Thank you to those who published me, and an even bigger thanks to those who helped these stories come to life, and an even bigger thanks to those who have no intention of reading these stories and couldn’t care less who this M.J. Nicholls tosser is. You make it all worthwhile!

P.S. Link to Cantaraville will be updated when #9 finally gets freed. Now sod orf!

6 comments:

  1. Thank you! There was four, actually, but who's counting? Hee hee. :)

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  2. I love it when you get all slutty. Congratulations to you! Seems to be raining magic beans in Scotland, so take advantage!

    (and come over to the Amazon discussion boards--I can't seem to tear myself away and could use the company--there are other people there, but none who dance like I like, as I know you will)

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  3. Just checking stuff before getting on that plane to the Twitty City. Congratulations on all FOUR. They're all giggly great fun.

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  4. I greatly enjoyed your zesty slice of Z zeitgeist at Clean Zheets!

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  5. Thanks Chris & Hart!

    And hello, Zeremy! So glad you enzoyed. :)

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