Thursday, 4 September 2014

The 36 Fears of Ray Davies

  1. That the girl might not like me and the date will lead to further heartbreak.
  2. That the plane might not land in Alaska and crash-land somewhere in Nevada.
  3. That the Kinks might not reunite for a farewell gig.
  4. That the girl might like me and put undue pressure on me for the next one.
  5. That the plane will land and our Alaskan relatives will swarm around with embarrassing kisses and hugs.
  6. That the Kinks will reunite for a farewell gig and ruin the songs.
  7. That I might not like her and cause her heartbreak.
  8. That I might not land the plane in Alaska but in Greenland.
  9. That I might not be able to learn the songs in time for the Kinks’ farewell gig.
  10. That I might like her and put pressure on her to for the next one.
  11. That I might land the plane in Alaska and be bombarded by relatives after money.
  12. That I might perform the songs too well on the farewell tour and raise expectations for our new album.
  13. That you might not like her and choose not to share her with me.
  14. That you might not co-pilot the plane skilfully and cause a crash landing.
  15. That you might mess up the trickier guitar parts at the first farewell gig.
  16. That you might like her and want her all to yourself.
  17. That you might co-pilot too well and undermine my position as pilot.
  18. That you might play too well and make me look old and past my prime.
  19. That we might not like sharing her.
  20. That we might not be able to figure out the directions to Alaska between us.
  21. That we might not get our shit together before the first gig.
  22. That we might like sharing her too much and both want to marry her.
  23. That we might be too good and want to take up piloting full-time.
  24. That we might play too well and have to start a nationwide tour in our seventies.
  25. That she might not want to share herself among us.
  26. That she might not want to fly with us to Alaska to meet the folks after only two dates.
  27. That she might not like our music at all.
  28. That she might like us equally and want to marry us both.
  29. That she might want to do the flying herself.
  30. That she might like our music too much and annoy us at sound-checks.
  31. That they might disapprove of us sharing the same girl.
  32. That they might not like the way we land and complain about our piloting skills.
  33. That they might not like our new renditions of the old songs.
  34. That they might love the girl too much and want to keep her.
  35. That they might like our piloting skills and want us to fly them somewhere.
  36. That they might like our renditions too much and ask for free tickets constantly.

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