A writer decides to get arrested so he can finish
his novel in peace. A writer rigs an electrical charge to his
keyboard that sends a shock to his fingertips whenever he uses a
cliché. A writer completes a tragicomic novel about Cinderella’s
elephantiasis. A writer listens to the music of Camera Obscura while
writing about fictional writers. A writer writes his first sentence
in four years and scrubs it out immediately. A writer stares out the
window at people laughing on the street and momentarily forgets what
she was writing about. A writer dictates to his secretary in his loud
Yorkshire accent his latest adventure tale featuring Bob the Big Bad
Bonsai-Pruner. A writer says something amusing in public no one picks
up on. A writer who spent an afternoon reworking a paragraph deletes
the paragraph and starts again. A writer wonders whether his
unpublished manuscripts have any artistic value whatsoever, or if he
has spent the last decade typing up drivel. A writer eats a mouldy
sandwich and contemplates giving up (life). A writer sends a story to
an online periodical and feels no satisfaction. A writer finishes the
last sentence in her third novel and accidentally wipes the file from
her computer. A writer wonders if he will ever have an original
thought. A writer realises she is not going to make a living from
writing and quits (life). A writer laughs at her own writing and
wishes she had someone with whom to share it. A writer calls the
police because burglars have stolen his computer containing all his
completed works. A writer leaves his USB stick containing the one
copy of his novel on the train. A writer feels ill-at-ease in herself
and her surroundings and wishes she could write about it. A writer
writes in a populist style that does not accentuate his strengths. A
writer decides to cut out reading to focus on writing. A writer
wishes she was anything other than a writer. A writer shares his work
with a friend who tells him the writing is hackneyed. A writer is
told by her mentor that she has no talent. A writer sells his
manuscript to a big publisher and feels pleased with himself. A
writer is killed in a car crash before announcing to his family he
has completed his debut novel. A writer publishes the manuscript of a
dead friend under his own name and pockets the royalties. A writer
pretends to have read a popular book so he can participate in the
discussion with influential people. A writer pretends to have read an
obscure author so he can appear well-read among complete strangers. A
writer feels insane with envy at her friend’s success and thinks up
ways to sever the friendship. A writer thinks back to a time when she
was happy, and wonders why she wrote less then. A writer thinks back
to a time when he was happy, and wonders why he wrote more then. A
writer writes something he knows no one will want to read and flips
off his invisible non-audience. A writer writes hackwork and hates
herself. A writer completes a poem about the time he cried at
something. A writer misses a train and loses an opportunity that
won’t return for the rest of his life. A writer is pleased with her
work until she reads it out loud. A writer offers feedback to a
struggling writer despite his own writing being incompetent. A writer
chooses not to publish and meets the ire of his friends and family. A
writer moves to Paris. A writer eats a baguette in Staines.
