Friday, 27 November 2009


  1. Alive.
  2. Related to Martin Amis.
  3. The handsomest cheesemaker in the borough.
  4. Somewhat disappointed when a fat man falls in the canal.
  5. Indifferent to the New Puritan movement.
  6. Afraid of socks.
  7. Unwilling to read George Orwell’s Complete Works.
  8. Nowhere.
  9. Allergic to Qs, Ts and Vs.
  10. Not going to eat the last remaining crouton.
  11. Reading this list and wondering when it’s going to end.
  12. Fond of fondue.
  13. A writer with eight published novels and three unpublished children.
  14. Going to enrol in night school to learn Swiss.
  15. OK with Arabs living in your neighbourhood, as long as they keep away from your twigs.
  16. Amused by carpets.
  17. An avid participant in YouTube culture.
  18. A patchwork megalomaniac.
  19. Not Gore Vidal.
  20. Partial to a mince pie on the patio.
  21. Not having intercourse at this present moment.
  22. Unlikely to use the word lustrous in conversation.
  23. Skilled at disarming nuclear reactors.
  24. About to leave the room to do something unspeakable.
  25. Fond of reading book reviews but have no intention of ever reading the books in question.
  26. Simple but astoundingly clever.
  27. Dead in spirit, alive in presence.
  28. Not fond of the Nazis, but find Keanu Reeves cute.
  29. At some point going to weep for a long time and hate yourself immensely.
  30. Can’t stand up for falling down.
  31. The sort who texts opinions into radio programmes and gets rather worked up about stolen caravans.
  32. The sort who likes rosebuds but dislikes paedophiles.
  33. Willing to eat a chocolate bar, but will not donate 50p to starving children in Newcastle.
  34. Never ever EVER going to Newcastle.
  35. Going to bemoan the corporate charade of Christmas, but participate regardless lest society oust you from its heaving bosom.
  36. Unlikely to become an anarcho-syndicalist revolutionary in the next ten minutes.
  37. Not going out wearing that.
  38. Building to a crescendo.
  39. A walking anticlimax.
  40. Beginning to think this blogger is an unhinged tosser.
  41. 42.


  1. *snort* Loved #22. And #36. And also #27. I think #4 was my fave though.

    I like how 42 was 42, reminded me of The Impossible Quiz (a haven for procrastinators the world over).

  2. Hahahaha, I just noticed your 'Slags and Sluts' header. Is that new? Or did I miss it before...? Either way, how ducking brilliant is THAT?

  3. I like changing my blog baubles (and blog buddies) now and then. Sorts the slags from sluts, so to speak. :)

  4. I also love the list and can assure you I am NOT Gore Vidal--in fact I've only read two of his books... Julian and one that was on a lot of 'must read' lists that escapes me... Funny that it was the one that nobody was pressing on me that stuck...

    I think there is a life lesson there for anyone who wants to stick to someone, but it sounds sort of sticky if you ask me.

  5. Gore Vidal came to my attention as a grumpy old man telling a BBC news anchor to stick his interview.

    I'm a fan now. :)

  6. I like numbers 1 through 42, especially numbers 1 through 42.

    And I have writer's block in a massive way.

    Gore Vidal is sitting on my shelf. Or what's left of him.