Sunday, 3 April 2011

The Books They Wouldn't Release

Leaked from three small presses, the early or unwanted manuscripts of two heavyweight writers and one other guy.

1. Green Frog – Martin Amis

Slated for release Nov 14 1989, then pulled following a tear-stained email from the author. All existing copies have been burned.

2. The Disgruntled Plaintiff – John Grisham

Written last year in Barbados, this hardcover edition was scheduled for publication in early January. The publishing editor committed suicide after Grisham returned the galleys, and the release was cancelled.

3. Stuff That Happened to Me on the Train Last Weekend – Mil Millington

This debut novel from the British humorist was slated for release in 1999 but was cancelled after a fire in the building destroyed the entire print run.


  1. So I read you post and I died laughing. When I recovered, I dutifully went to comment, only to be sidetracked by your new gadget titles.

    I died again, obviously, and my ghost is now writing this (or is that poltergeist, seeing as I am using physical force?).

  2. I don't get to say this often, except to persistent zombies, but I'm glad I killed you twice. I hope you get reincarnated so I can kill you again.

  3. *snort* You crack me up. And I'm with Tara, nice work with the gadget heads... BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  4. I crack and I kill. I should be on TV or something.

  5. Odd storylines. But then again, who am I to talk? I'm writing a story about a dystopian society and secret passageways underneath the White House!

  6. A most welcome public service announcement. I think I may need to blackmail someone since I in fact own a copy of the Amis title. Would you be available for counselling on amount? I haven't been blackmailing anyone before, but with your experience in killing and cracking, not to mention your television prospects, you sound like a class A criminal who surely would be able to help me. Pretty please with a shackle on top?

  7. Looney: They have those passageways already, don't they? It's where Bush used to keep his porn.

    CC/MS: Hey, I'm still working on that piano for you. Sheesh, you're demanding. The elephant will only give up one tusk, so it's right-hand keys only, I'm afraid.

  8. It's okay. The cat hasn't learned to play the piano two-handed yet anyway, so I'm in no hurry.