Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Wanted: Lost Rock

Has anybody seen my pet rock MOLISTAIR?

I left him straddling a coypu by the GEORGE STREET bus stop next to the massive inflatable COCK bestowed upon the capital by Nikolai Urchin (Russian anvil smuggler).

He answers to the nickname JOAN and is identifiable by his scent, his purple sediment, and his massive tracts of BILE against the British government.

See, that British Prime Minister is an INCOMPETENT GOAT. Bumbling his useless Caledonian BUM through cabinet meetings and cocking up the ecomony through his MATHEMATICAL INEPTITUDE. His woeful dour persona casts a looming shadow of DOOM upon the whole nation. The only way is DOWN and Gordon is dragging us with his PSYCHOSMILE to HELL.

Molistair also subscribes to Simon Mayo’s weekly podcast and came first in the German Post-Impressionist Painter Whistling Contest in 1980, beating Max Liebermann to third place with his outstanding rendition of Eric Clapton’s weepie Tears in Heaven.

Please help. We LIKE him. Sometimes.

[Photo taken from Rock Hunks Issue #1689]

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