Hello, Beautiful

Blog neglect is a shame. The nature of blogging demands a casual relationship with one's readers, and because these readers don't exist, this means the relationship taking place is between oneself in the present and oneself in the past.

So to break it down, blogging is like having a relationship with a slightly younger version of yourself. You are the same person, only the person speaking to you is the person who wrote your last post a week, a month, or a year ago. What is that person saying?

Blimey, it's lonely here.

In the event that a later incarnation of myself is reading this – M.J. in June 2019, after my fifth child and first alcohol addiction, or M.J. in March 2076, when the Bumblebee Lizards have colonised Scotland – I would like to impart one piece of advice:

Don't waste time reading old blog posts.

Too late? Well, you might want to read 100% Godfrey instead, my new flash at the radically purple blog Clockwise Cat. Or perhaps a longer piece is what thine eyes require? In which case, read my splatterporn debut Inky Beast in the new issue of Deadman's Tome.

Thank you to the editors in question for the exposure, but mostly, thank you to me. Without me, none of this would be possible, so thank me very much. I hope me will come back soon!