Monday, 4 July 2011

M.J. Nicholls in Habitat

What does it mean to be an M.J. Nicholls in the wild? In the wild, the M.J. Nicholls is a social carnivore, he only wants flesh he can exploit to his advantage, none of the casual small-talk white-meats that make up human interaction. He is a lone hunter, hibernating most of the year, emerging in Autumn for a rampage of guts and gore, licking it all up until he has to leave his hideout again next year.

In hibernation, the M.J. Nicholls is pensive, he watches the world pass by, noting the peculiar habits of the other creatures, studying their behaviour for his annual feast. Sometimes, when beings enter his lair, he displays for them so he might discharge his fluids. He makes assumptions about other beings that he believes and brings with him to the outside wilds, and when proven wrong he bites their faces off.

M.J. Nicholls is a placid creature, but if you ask him what he is writing at the moment he will leap on you with savage intent, mauling the most sensitive areas in unconventional ways. If you ask him how he is, about his future plans, why he’s wearing the same trousers as last week, he will swoop down upon you with such ferocity, you will need an army of proctologists to the repair the trauma inflicted on your rectum.

The M.J. Nicholls in hibernation is simple to please. All he needs are texts, milkshakes and computer access. If anyone disturbs him when he is at peace, they will suffer. Take note.


  1. Banana milkshake? Love the new look! Just laughed for a solid 10 minutes at you calling yourself a "pert puffin" x

  2. Hello, twoyou. Have a banana on me.