Then there’s that thing you do—we’ve seen, we see, we have seen!—where you angle your screen so we can SEE YOUR GREAT WORDS, words you type in large font and CAPS, SO WE CAN SEE YOUR AWESOMENESS! It may well be you are Joyce Carol Oates on your 198th novel about families and the conflicts between them and don’t-families-have-conflicts and think-deeper-think-of-the-deepness-of-conflicts, but WE DON’T CARE!
If we’re writers, we hate you because you are leaking your product prematurely to the masses. You are selling your wares as you write your wares, and no one wants to read wares that haven’t undergone four drafts of ware-correction and what’s-it-for ware-agonising sessions and other ware problems that characterise the writer’s wareisome life.
Having said that, I am writing this in public. Behind me, four envious writers are scribbling down these words to incorporate into their novels. I can hear one fainting from the refreshing originality of the family conflict idea, and another is planning a post about annoying twats who write on their laptops in public. One person loves the wareisome pun.
But what is this post really about? Is it more about a guy killing time instead of writing his non-fiction book on gaming addiction? Is it more about a guy home alone for a few days, going silently mad? Is it more about a guy who wants a bath now? Yes, indeedy, it may well be.