Tuesday, 5 October 2010

My Latest Book

In my latest book, Roy Walker: Filthy Sex Beast, I expose the former Catchphrase host’s trail of affairs and sexual perversions.

Since the inception of Catchphrase, Roy has made it compulsory for the winner to sleep with him after every show. “Big or small, young or old, man or goat . . . send ‘em to me,” he was once caught saying on camera. It was in the contract of each winner to take a vow of silence and pleasure Mr. Walker until he was satisfied. One contestant says: “It would often take four hours, five tubs of lube, and six crew guys to get him off.”

My book delves deep into the sordid details of his sex life. The three-ways with Jim Bowen and Leslie Joseph. The all-night orgies in Bournemouth Travelodge (in a suite now named Walker on the Wild Side). The attempted publication of his book Suck What You See: The Secret Life of Game Show Host. Inserting his penis into the ears of audience members. His attempted rape of Mr Chips, the virtual catchphrase mime. All this and more!

The story of Roy Walker is an R-rated romp through the darker side of afternoon quiz shows. Available from Oct 12.

Rutland Bewks, £19.99


  1. I now have a mental image of Roy Walker in PVC.

  2. Ah, I see you have taken my "How to get published" advice to heart.
    Yes, a Libel case should do the trick. Instant fame and publishers knocking at your door.

    I think I'll write a blog entry claiming that Prince Charles tried to have me assassinated in a French tunnel, Bush tried to hire me to fly a Jet into the White House, and Barbara Cartland was really a man, was Archer's bitch boy, and once asked me to ghost write a romance novel.

    Oops, that last part - about Cartland being a man - is true!

  3. Babs: Me too. Thanks.

    Mike: This is where the money is, baby. Next, I take Noel Edmonds.

  4. glad i found your blog! am now following :)

  5. Thank you Spammie Amie! Long live lower case!

  6. *bleaches brain*
    You are so bad. I suppose that is why I keep coming back. Because bad is the new good (and I somehow laugh out loud every time*

  7. You love it, you hussy. *cracks whip*

  8. My latest books contain the knowledge of sex beast and also I expose the former Catchphrase host’s trail of affairs and sexual perversions.

  9. Your toys are nice. I especially like the two-in-one dildo and lemon squeezer. That is talent.