Monday, 14 December 2009

Danger! Self-Promotion!

Having spent the day demonstrating the finest ways to avoid completing a paragraph (four lunches, eight baths, the internet), it’s a miracle I get anything finished at all, let alone published.

Regardless, the time has come to tout my work. You know me – I would much rather talk about Hovis, the stock market, Elastica, deep philosophical matters, and the hotness of soups in bistros.

Instead: it’s me. I do apologise.


Young Bones (8000+ words) is strewn like the innards of a car-crash corpse thing over the December issue of Christopher Vogel’s independently financed print and e-zine endeavour, Paradigm Shift: New Paradigm. It can be bought (ho-ho-ho) for four quid or downloaded for a dollar. Either way, no freebies.


My favourite in the trilogy of five,
A Modern Narrative [4] is sweating blood at the Piker Press, who sweated blood to preserve the formatting and are always happy to sweat blood in the name of absurd antics. They are my heroes, alongside Vangelis.


Touting flash fiction credits seems to me as necessary as dropping a dookie in a canal. Nevertheless, the people at the
Bare Foot Review have designed a trendy and snazzy page for my piece of coinage cock, Cynicicysticaldeboogieness. I want this word in the OED. Thank you to those witty people, and do check out the forthcoming December issue.

So there we are. Publishing stuff. And one out of three spelled my surname correctly! Things are looking up.

P.S. Tomorrow: schlongs and thongs.


  1. Kudos! Me like your Hovis. Is that bread? And I concur, I want to play that Scrabble word of yours!

  2. Yah, Hovis is a loaf. Let's loaf around loafing things.

  3. I love your very dry, sometimes bizarre, self-deprecating humor. I especially love the glimpse at 'though I REALLY want to be published, it might just be okay to get laid now and then'.

    Nice work!

  4. MJ your posts are always at the very least, entertaining. A nice reprive and a pleasure to visit here.

  5. Tart: Yes, spot-on! Though I would choose being published over sex every time. I'm not mad.

    CCP: It's a pleasure to be, at the very least, entertaining. I try. God knows I try. :)

  6. Hi, N.Q. Nickles! A very entertaining bit of flash there, pardner. And print, luscious print. Congratulations. I'll pop over to Piker Press and have a look-see at your new Modern Narrative.

    I submitted something to Piker finally. And then discovered a typo. They'll probably reject it based on that one slip.

    Hope you're having a great day...


  7. Hi C(hristopher)A(llen)!

    Thanksomeino. Piker won't reject the Allenmeister. In a few weeks, they'll be kissing your hobnails.

    Are you submitting some Garyus or other divine newstuffs?

  8. hey m.j,
    i pushed my interview site live today. if you send me your email i'd love to send you a set of questions.


  9. Hi R.B. Quarters! Piker accepted my story today. They're sweet. No, it's not Gayru. I still need to do a lot of work on that before I publish it. I'm moving toward pushing it as a novella. Or a play. Or a comic strip. I have so many irons in the fire, I don't know which one is hottest.

    Anyway. Leaving for Amerika in the morning to see the folks in the old country.

    Have a very merry week before Christmas, and I'll talk to you, well, tomorrow probably.