Wednesday, 18 August 2010


Why do you write? Do you write to make sense of the world? Is that too trite? Do you write because you have a passion for language? Do you think that is good enough? How are you going to write something accessible for the kiddies? Do you write because you have a unique take on things? How unique, exactly? Are you as unique as Lydia Davis? Or Elizabeth Browning? Or are you somewhere in between? Or nowhere in between? Is one person’s uniqueness better than another person’s uniqueness? Was that sentence awkward? Would you like a paragraph break?

Is that better? Are you finding this wearisome? Would you like a break? What if I say no? Is this blog post more or less unique than Elizabeth Browning? Who is Elizabeth Browning? Sonnets From the Portuguese? How do I love thee? Do I love thee? Do I think thee is not as unique as Lydia Davis? Do I love Lydia Davis? Who is Lydia Davis? Is she better than Lydia Millet or Lydia Lunch? Does Lydia Lunch like lunch or prefer dinner? What did I have for lunch? Is that any of your business? What did you have for lunch? Is that any of my business? Paragraph break?

What are you wearing? Is it mauve? What is the point of mauve, anyway? Would you use mauve in a story? Have you ever worn mauve in your life? Why should we bother describing clothes in stories? Does anyone really care what another person is wearing? Oh, you do, do you? Well, how would you like three pages of exacting description about clogs? What’s that? If they were pretty clogs? Are you serious? What’s that?
I should be working on my story, not faffing about with the interrogative? Should I? Should I?



  1. What is it about guys on the internet asking me what I wear? Yesterday it was God, now you. Sigh.

  2. To be fair, God is FILTHY. And those mauve jodhpurs are striking.

  3. Answers to questions in first paragraph: I don't know.

    Answers to questions in 2nd paragraph: Yes.

    Answers to questions in 3rd paragraph: Wouldn't you like to know.

  4. Supercaliquiddityisticexpialidocious! Love your blog! Love you.

  5. Wha! Question overload.

    PS--In a writing workshop I took years ago, someone actually wrote an entire 25 page story about Birkenstocks. You'd be amazed...

  6. Deb & Barbara: You (uh, both) are super-decisive. That is admirable. And thank you for the love.

    Rosie C: No! I must read that at once! Sorrentino writes a great deal about silk slips and ice-blue panties. I wonder how many pages in total he has written on those items. Hmm.

  7. Not wearing mauve. Skin tone is paler and has more yellow to it. Though I suppose some of my paler freckles might be described as mauve. I prefer that to liver. Liver the color, I mean, which is the nasty name they give to the color of some skin spot.

    And ice blue panties look very nice on a man who is a 'spring'. You are more an autumn or a winter. I would stick with earthier tones. Leapard would work. Tiger would be better.

  8. I will try the ice-blue pants. Though you might be confusing me with that picture of a catwalk hunk I posted ages ago. Let's pretend I am him. I do.

  9. I would never wear mauve. Why do you ask?


  10. Okay, that was confusing. All those questions are not helping my headache any. Don't mean to hurt your feelings, just telling it like it is. Do you know a good way to get rid of one?